Funnily enough I was talking last night with my (older, female) flatmates about my rule that if I hear screams I run towards them, not away from them. It has to happen pretty quickly, hence the 'run' part of the rule: I have noticed that other people often dither & hesitate in an emergency. Hypervigilance means I can smell trouble brewing before it happens / tell if the vibes are off. I'll also tend to intervene if I see a man & a woman interacting & the woman looks scared, or if I see a man harassing a woman, or if I see a woman crying in public, or alone & intoxicated: I'll just ask "Are you OK? Is everything OK here? Do you need help?" Gotta be judged on a case by case basis, but say you get there & choose not to intervene: even the act of standing watching-- being a witness-- can act as a deterrent to violence. Or say you get there & can intervene, then you do.
Point being, sometimes women can help other women in situations where a man intervening can result in escalation. I'm aware that it's my status as a white(-appearing) woman that grants me diplomatic immunity from being hit (up to a point): that's why I feel a responsibility to deploy that power in acts of female solidarity. I'm generally quite an anxious & risk-averse person but in an emergency a different self takes over, & knowing that's the case makes me feel safer in the world.
This is one of your best, I was reading it in a cafe and found myself just starting to read it aloud. How instinctively and unconscious the classic gender essay turns form "man" to "men" and "woman" to "women" ripped me open a bit. Our social intellect plucking us out of the room where our guts are twisting with A Person. No---I'm choosing to stay them. Beautiful writing, ending especially.
Funnily enough I was talking last night with my (older, female) flatmates about my rule that if I hear screams I run towards them, not away from them. It has to happen pretty quickly, hence the 'run' part of the rule: I have noticed that other people often dither & hesitate in an emergency. Hypervigilance means I can smell trouble brewing before it happens / tell if the vibes are off. I'll also tend to intervene if I see a man & a woman interacting & the woman looks scared, or if I see a man harassing a woman, or if I see a woman crying in public, or alone & intoxicated: I'll just ask "Are you OK? Is everything OK here? Do you need help?" Gotta be judged on a case by case basis, but say you get there & choose not to intervene: even the act of standing watching-- being a witness-- can act as a deterrent to violence. Or say you get there & can intervene, then you do.
Point being, sometimes women can help other women in situations where a man intervening can result in escalation. I'm aware that it's my status as a white(-appearing) woman that grants me diplomatic immunity from being hit (up to a point): that's why I feel a responsibility to deploy that power in acts of female solidarity. I'm generally quite an anxious & risk-averse person but in an emergency a different self takes over, & knowing that's the case makes me feel safer in the world.
This is one of your best, I was reading it in a cafe and found myself just starting to read it aloud. How instinctively and unconscious the classic gender essay turns form "man" to "men" and "woman" to "women" ripped me open a bit. Our social intellect plucking us out of the room where our guts are twisting with A Person. No---I'm choosing to stay them. Beautiful writing, ending especially.
2025 i’ve been watching Boondocks with my son. The times are so ripe for new satire. Your piece reminds me of Boondocks.
Thanks for a new identity: a failure/exile from the Doomed Hive of Niggaz. It’s a position that feels very illegible, even invisible.
Excellent processing and provoking!